


Missing Tosses

by sunflakes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, basically just an emotions dump for me, dumb fluff, dummmmbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 21:23:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2443604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflakes/pseuds/sunflakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite having found a home in his new team at Karasuno, the unbearable loneliness still comes back to Kageyama sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing Tosses

**Author's Note:**

> iiii dont know. these boys are just dumb dorks and i love them

Despite having found a home in his new team at Karasuno, the unbearable loneliness still comes back to Kageyama sometimes. It happens one day during practice, while they’re in rotation for practicing receives. He doesn’t know what brings it on, but suddenly all he can feel is the overwhelming emptiness in his stomach. He barely notices Hinata poking him in concern, and only comes to his senses when Daichi yells at him that it’s his turn.  


He misses every single one, something that’s almost unprecedented in his history. And that just makes it worse- he feels like there’s a rock in his stomach, dragging him down. The sounds of sneakers on the floor, the voices of his teammates, the sunlight streaming through the window, all but disappear as he stares at the ground, unseeing. 

“Kageyama... Kageyama.” A voice pushes its way through the barrier around him, seeming to echo slightly in his head. It’s Hinata. He looks up, and the team is surrounding him, concern on their faces. Well, most of them. Tsukishima is talking to Yamaguchi in the background, but that doesn’t matter right now. As soon as Hinata puts his hand on Kageyama’s arm, a realization hits him like a truck. 

“Kageyama... are you okay?” Sugawara places his hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, looking extremely worried.

“Yeah... I’m fine. I think... I just need some air,” Kageyama manages to get out, nodding at Suga and turning jerkily, somehow making his way out of the gym. It’s cool outside, and as the air hits his face he realizes that his cheeks are burning. He takes a breath and leans against the wall, trying to figure out what’s going on. 

He doesn’t understand. For the past year or so, he’s been fine now that he’s come to Karasuno. He’s happy having the team around him, seeing them work together and accomplish so much. He’s never really felt the need for anything more, for the presence of a single person in his life, even before. But lately, it’s felt like he’s lacking something. The loneliness has been more present over the past month or so. And when Hinata touched his arm, he realized why. 

It was Hinata. It wasn’t that he had lost something that made a difference, it was that he had gained something that made him realize that there was something he didn’t have, that he wanted, and Hinata could be that for him. Kageyama swallows. “So what... what is this?” he wonders, pushing his fingers through his sweat-drenched hair. You love him, a little voice at the back of his brain whispers. He shoves the voice away viciously, refusing to even consider that. But, still....

“There’s no way I love that dumbass!” he growls in frustration, punching the wall, although all he gets from it is an aching hand and scraped knuckles. Sinking to the ground, he puts his head on his knees. “What am I supposed to do with this?” he asks himself miserably. Even if he refuses to accept that he feels more than friendship for Hinata, he can’t deny that there’s a hole in him that it seems Hinata can fill. He doesn’t want just casual friendship, he wants... something more. Something different.

Kageyama’s thoughts are interrupted by the door sliding open with a loud screech, and Hinata steps out. He immediately begins shivering. 

“Geez, it’s cold, why are you still out here?” he asks, sitting down next to Kageyama and wrapping his arms around himself. 

Kageyama doesn’t answer, keeping his eyes on the ground. He doesn’t know how to act, now that he understands what’s going on. His mind races, trying to figure out how to act in order to avert suspicion, a task that could be compared to tossing the ball with infinite precision during one of their freak quicks but is infinitely harder. 

“....how they do that. Kageyama, are you listening?” Hinata jabs him in the side, pouting, and Kageyama jolts. 

“Uh, yes, yeah, what?” he stutters, turning his head so fast he almost gets whiplash. 

Hinata frowns. “What’s wrong? First those missed tosses, and now you’re acting all weird.”

Kageyama huffs. “It’s nothing,” he mutters, looking away. 

Hinata scrunches up his nose. “No it’s not, you big loser. Tell me or I’ll never leave you alone.” He grins, moving closer and closer to Kageyama.

“Fine,” Kageyama snaps, shoving him away. “Do you ever feel like... like there’s a space in you that you didn’t realize was there until you met someone, and once you meet them you know that they’re the one who is supposed to fill it but you don’t know if that can ever happen and it just feels so empty sometimes and.....” He trails off, flushing and looking away. 

Hinata traces pictures in the dirt with the tip of his finger. A volleyball, a feather. A name. 

“I.... I guess so. I’m not sure... if it’s what you’re talking about, but I think I understand,” Hinata says, his eyebrows bunching together.

Kageyama looks at him out of the corner of his eye. “You... you do?” 

“Well, yeah. I mean, everyone gets lonely sometimes, but... it feels like there’s one person who’s supposed to be in a certain place, but they’re not? And you need them there.” He shrugs, resting his chin on his knees. 

“Yeah,” Kageyama says softly, his stomach twisting a little. Who’s that person for Hinata? Will it affect them at all? He doesn’t think he can bear losing him, not now. Not after he’s just found his home.

“Um...” Hinata looks up at Kageyama, his soft voice bringing him out of his head. “Who... who is that person? For you, I mean.” He seems shy, a mood which is so unlike him that Kageyama can hardly reconcile the Hinata in front of him with the Hinata he knows and... loves. Loves.

It’s not to say that it’s bad, though. It’s just strange. Kageyama shakes off the remnants of those thoughts and focuses on Hinata’s reddening ears. 

“Uh... I. I can’t tell you,” he says finally, his voice cracking slightly at the end. 

Hinata looks up now, frowning. “Why?”

Distracted by trying to deal with the question without revealing himself, Kageyama misses the tears forming in Hinata’s eyes. 

“I just can’t,” he mutters, looking away. 

Hinata sighs. “Kageyama.”

Kageyama doesn’t move, keeping his gaze averted. 

Hinata says his name again, more persistently this time. “Kageyama. Look at me.”

Reluctantly, Kageyama turns his head, meeting Hinata’s eyes. He’s a little shocked at the unhappiness he sees, and he feels bad. 

“Hinata, I...” Kageyama starts, but is cut off when Hinata leans in, his lips meeting his own. Kageyama freezes, shocked, but closes his eyes and leans into the kiss, his hand drifting to Hinata’s waist.

Hinata pulls back, his eyes opening. “You’re that person, for me. I don’t know if I’m that person for you, but I had to tell you. I understand if... if you don’t feel the same way.” He stumbles a bit over the last part, his voice cracking, but pushes it out anyway. 

Kageyama looks at him, his lips parted, before reaching out and ruffling Hinata’s hair. 

“Dumbass Hinata,” he whispers, a smile spreading over his face. “Of course you are.” Hinata smiles, a grin that seems to light up the entire world. He tackles Kageyama with a hug, burying his face in his neck and giggling slightly. 

Kageyama wraps his arms around him, holding him against his chest. They stay like that until Suga comes out to reprimand them for taking too long, and they go back in freezing, with stiff legs, but holding hands. 

They resume practice, and this time, Kageyama doesn’t miss a single toss.


End file.
